BY SILAS WAGER
They say what you don’t know can’t hurt you, the only trouble is we humans like to think we know, even when we haven’t got a clue, in all honesty I am amazed at how easy it is to convince yourself of something. Just thinking about something brings it to life, it becomes real, you get a rush of emotion, an instant hit, all this just from a thought, and a made up thought at that.
The lockdown was sudden, 24 hours notice, 15th March 2020, although it had been all over the internet and TV etc, it was still a bit of a surprise. During war times people used to listen to the news on the radio, these days we surf the net to keep up to date with this pandemic and other things going on. But sometimes even surfing the net won’t get you the information you want. A dead end can come alive again, but its completely out of my control, so I decided to tell myself I didn’t know, knowing full well I did know, strangely enough from what I had seen, I should have been wrong, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up.
Financially, I was in a very good position having just sold my villa, so the pressure of lockdown was no way near as harsh and difficult as it was for many. Although the longer it takes me to buy a new place will obviously eat into the amount I can spend — thats hardly a hardship. But I guess it didn’t help that 3 months prior to lockdown I bought a record collection, over 10,000 vinyl records, and 3,000 CDs. So I’ve just moved to an island, all my possessions are in storage back where I used to live. I now have to rent another storage unit, at almost 3 times the price of my other one while paying rent where I live.
Well at the time it didn’t seem too reckless, I guess it was the records. I do love records, but I’ve never bought this many records in the 33 years I’ve been collecting, let alone in one go. I had less than a week to make a decision, even with a list this was no easy task, but i threw caution to the wind and done the deal. So for 3 months i made frequent visits to my storage unit, slowly going through this collection, I had given myself 6 months to find a place and felt fairly confident. One month in and I had the chance to buy a little flat with a very small patio at the back, but i realised it was just too small, every wall would have been covered in records, and still plenty in boxes, it would have been like living in the storage units i had rented, and I’m glad i didn’t buy it in the end, but this was just before lockdown, and its crossed my mind a few times, maybe i should have bought it, but was just a floating thought, it didn’t hang around or grow any roots, i knew it wouldn’t have been the right place. I knew the area i wanted to buy in, central, prices are of course higher, but i was also finding prices too high outside the area i wanted. I was tempted a few times, but it always fell into two categories, right location too small, wrong location right size. Finally i stumble upon the one, a little shop with space upstairs, been closed for just over a year and in the right area, so the 5 month saga begins.
I had many dreams about this place, i even saw myself there with all my boxes, mainly boxes of records. Four other people were interested in this place, I had the least money, some of them had their architects come in and asses it, it needs a lot of work. I can remember thinking wow this would be really cool, so many options of what i could do with the place, but i was winging it, I didn’t bother with an architect or survey. Now I do have a bit of knowledge when it comes to property, I knew what i couldn’t do, so added up roughly how much it would cost for the work, and included that in my price, of course it was rejected. So each month i would make a polite enquiry about the property, and i even visited it again, I had of course convinced myself I’m going to get this place, even though my dreams don’t always come true, i had seen myself there.
So another month passes, and i decided to up my offer, i added the money for the construction work that needed to be done, i decided i could work around it for now. Again my offer was refused, but i was told to just hang in there, i mean they always say that, and with me already sure I’m going to get this place, i chose to ignore all other options, it was this place or no place at all. Each day can bring a million or more things that can nudge us this way or that way, sending us forever in another direction, it takes real conviction to stay on course, even when it seems bleak or all hope has evaporated, i hung on, i would deliberately put it to the back of my mind, i distracted myself with the records i had brought, which could have lasted a few years, a very risky strategy. Its now 12 months since i arrived here, 11 months since i bought a record collection, and after adding just a tiny bit more money, my offer is accepted. One or two weeks before my offer was accepted i dreamt i was running in a race, all the other runners were much taller than me, but i was moving towards the front, but i wasn’t beating them, it was like they had lost their interest in winning, and yes i ended up at the front, but i also made a note that i hadn’t passed the finish line, but at least i was now the front runner.
When buying property or making a large investment, getting legal advise is essential, but it can also become a hinderance, even when you explain that you understand all the pitfalls involved. Your solicitor will still be advising you about them. So i think i allowed this to go on too long, a month had passed and we are going around in circles about small details. Now it only takes a minute for someone else to come along and take an interest in the race, and they can start anywhere on the track, they can even appear just seconds before the finish, or maybe the owners change their mind. I even had a dream that i needed to get inside and out quickly before the building collapsed, i decided it wasn’t about the building, but about the deal, and if i didn’t get on with it, it was going to collapse, fall through. Now this dream creeps up on me every now and then, because this place needs a lot of work, and there looks like there could be problems with structural beams, so every now and then i wonder if its the building thats going to collapse, but I’ve been here almost 4 months now, and it hasn’t collapsed yet.
This building is over 100 years old, for the last 40 years it has been a bakery, I’m investigating what it was before that, i have found some very old designs painted on some of the walls, possible from when the building was originally built. For now it’s my own vinyl record shop, selling some of those records i bought one year before. I think I’ve always wanted a record shop, but i was so into buying records myself i didn’t really try and make it happen, but actually I’m going to enjoy watching their faces(even with a mask on) when they buy a record from me, and knowing exactly how they feel. What’s also pretty amazing is my mother reminded me of when i was 5 years old, a shop had gone out of business at the end of our road, it was empty, i used to walk past it everyday on the way to school. One day I asked my mother if i could buy this shop, and now after 46 years, i have finally fulfilled my earliest dream, to own a shop.
Editor’s note: Thank you for your contribution to the Woody Creeker Silas. I like how you show how dreams can come true when you least expect them. As far as editing, I began to change the “I” to “I”, but realized that it was part of your stream of consciousness style. Hopefully I changed them back to your original i. if not, pls email editor@thewoodycreeker.com to let me know.
Thanks again. AT
